Sep 21 2008
Penis Monsters
So I have s little story I like to tell to my friends and they are always amused. I don’t know how this subject comes up but it seems to and people generally get a lot of laughs from it. O.K. here goes!
One day my brother frank was sitting around in his room doing some shrooms… I don’t know why he was doing this at home but I must have been out since I don’t recall any of this. Anyways he’s tripping out on shrooms in his room and suddenly, out from under the bed and out from the closet come the penis monsters. They have the ability to fly around and were smacking him relentlessly in the face and all over his body. I can’t imagine being slapped by a swarm of angry flying penis monsters but it can’t be plesant. In the middle of the fray one stops in from of him and yells “Make salad!” and my brother replies “What?” “Make Salad! Make Salad!” the penis monster screams back.
So my brother, not wanting to upset the penis monster runs downstairs and get’s a whole head of lettice out of the fridge and put’s it on the counter top and starts to cut it up. Salad is all over the counter and the penis monsters have followed him downstairs and are continuing to smack him. The penis that told him to make the salad then told him to toss the salad. So my brother starts to toss the salad on the counter and the penis screams “Put oil and vinigar into the salad!” So my brother starts to toss some oil and vinigar into the salad that he’s preparing on the counter.
Now out of the blue the penis monster yells “Put your penis in the olive oil bottle!” Now at this point I would say NO to the penis deamons and take my chances since. After all to my recolection the openings to the olive oil bottles are not that big anyways… However my brother complies and sticks his penis into the olive oil bottle and apparently get’s boner. Now he’s got it stuck. So what I heard is that he got a knife and started to hit the bottle with it but that didn’t work so he just swung it at something and managed to break it without cutting his penis off… or did he?
Anyways when I first herd this story all I heard was that he shoved his penis in an olive oil bottle and got it stuck. Now when I heard that I though he was just doing it for fun but about 3 month’s later I heard the entire story and it all makes sense now. Granted it’s still weird, disturbing, disgusting, grotesque and all that jazz, it still makes for a funny story. What did you guys think?
I seriously could not stop laughing.
thats classic. …the saddest thing is that i could see something like that happening to frank.
i cracked up when i read this.
it all makes sense now